Hola From The Beautiful Abyss

January 24th, 2018 | Posted in January 2018 by

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Greetings from Chile!

The good news is that life gets more exciting the more you stay awake – meaning conscious and willing to take risks in the completely unknown details. If we choose to always tiptoe around things and cannot move until we know the answers to every little detail, we will never experience the incredible surprises that God has planned for us. Maybe that is the better way to look at – a more inviting way to look at  – the unknown. God has created these amazingly beautiful gifts for us, and we will find them if we are willing to step into the abyss. It’s not that we need to know – we need to know – we need to know because we just do. It’s because we want to know that we will be safe and that all will be well if we do – whatever it is.

We are such conditioned beings from the start. Learning to walk as babies, we live in padded rooms to ensure that we won’t hurt ourselves if we fall. We hear “no” more times in the first three years of life than we do in any other stretch of time in our lives. We become hesitant to try anything early on if we don’t know that we will be okay. And so it is – a pattern is tucked deep into our cells.

I am rambling excitedly because I became aware of something about myself over the past month that I found somewhat of a surprise. I have a real issue with allowing. How this came to be in my awareness is I received an email from my Chilean daughter, Helena that she and her husband were giving me a gift to come to Chile and meet their family (she now has two children whom I have never met) and spend time with her while she is on maternity leave. To put this all in context, I received the email late last summer. I was elated and grateful, but I never went beyond the acknowledgment of this incredible gift. No plans were made, no tickets were purchased, I fell deeply into writing, and life kept moving along for a couple more months. Then finally she said, “This is it Mom; we need to get the ticket tonight. There are plans that need to be made because there are excursions I want to take you on as well, and we need to get this done!” Panic set in, but there was no way I could say “no.” So the blastoff button was pushed, and dates were set. So was my internal panic.

Perhaps all this doesn’t sound like a big deal to most of you, but for me, it was an uncomfortable, visceral feeling from head to toe. I found this response to be curious and interesting. As more time went on and I wasn’t sharing this incredible news with friends and family, I realized that something more was going on inside me about this gifted trip. So, literally a week before my trip and after realizing I had not let even my closest friends, as well as some family members, know I was leaving, AND during a session with my own coach when it hit me that I had not told her either as she also happens to be one of my dearest and most treasured friends, I discovered that I have a real issue with allowing people to do things for me. I am more comfortable giving than I am receiving, and this pattern has played out my entire life.

The problem with this pattern is that it is part of a bigger issue. It is a block that halts the most fundamental aspect of our well-being as human beings: that we are here to allow into our lives all that we have been created to experience. And although I am blessed in many ways beyond my wildest dreams, there is so much more, and it’s happening right now. When we bring to the surface the pattern that is no longer serving us, and it’s time to stop it NOW so we can create space for what is next, we must open ourselves to the idea of the extraordinary – how good can we stand it? How big of a space can we create for the incoming that is here right now? We have opportunities that will be presented that the rational mind cannot conceive of because we need to act in the moment – now or never – you choose. The call came in, and the date needed to be set in that moment while we were on the phone. There was no time to second guess or look back.

I completed the second revision of my curriculum the day before I left after working on it for more than eight months, and I got on that plane to Chile and have not looked back!

Watch for my next blog to see what I am learning as this incredible gift with my Chilean family reveals what has been and is being planted…

Be well – love yourself – and know that you are loved,

 

Kendra

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